Posts Tagged ‘Anxiety’

Yo yo yo yo, ma homies!
No? Okay, fine. Haha xD

Anyways, I figured that since I’m done with all my work for now, I might as well update you guys a bit.
So, the last week has been spent catching up on sleep ❤
And, since I haven’t been to a chiropractor for quite some time now, my body is really working against me nowadays.
And my headaches has come back. Hellish headaches. Plus, I don’t think my sleeping habits have been to nice to my head, so those two added… Let’s just say: I’ve skipped a few lectures. But at least my sleeping habits have started to normalize a little. I go to bed around 12 or 1, and fall asleep between 3-4. Which is way better than “Can’t sleep. Shit. All-nighter!!” anyway, so.

But I really need my chiropractor now 😦
Luckily, mum is awesome nowadays, she has been especially since I left home and moved to friggin’ England!
So she’s ordered an appointment for me. Luff<3

She has also ordered an appointment with the hairdresser for me!
But, don’t I cut my own hair? Yes sir, yes I do. Well observed.
I’ll post a picture of the result when I can 😉

For those of you who know me, DailyBooth holds a secret.
Go find it! 😉

Oh, guess what?
I spoke to Bjørn Erik’s girlfriend yesterday. Turns out, she’s NOT his girlfriend.
She’s his FIANCÉ! OMFGWHAT? o_O
So, he has once again gone down on one knee. Haha!
Oh well, we’ll see how long this lasts 😛

Hey, guess what? Today is happy times!
My lecture was cancelled! Hooray! 😀
AND! I’m going to see the latest “Chronicles of Narnia” movie 😀
HAPPY TIMES, I tell you.

What else have I been doing lately? Hmmm…
Oh right, I’ve been YouGeeking! A lot more!
I’ve watched all of Nerimon’s videos, and all of Hexachordal’s videos.
Almost all of Charlieissocoollike’s, but… when he was younger… Oh God.
I get easily embarrassed on the behalf of others. I really can’t stand to watch some of the earlier things he did xD
Next up is Eddplant. And when I’m done with his videos, I’ll re-watch some of LittleRadge’s.

Oh! And Adel and I went to see “Fred – the movie”. Which was fun… kind of.
Not the most well spent 83 minutes of my life, I’ll admit that. But hey! The lady I ordered tickets from did something  wrong and was too lazy to make a do-over, so Adel and I got to pretend we we’re 18 and young again. Not much difference for me, but I think it made A’s day. She’s 23 now, so. I keep mocking her, saying how old she is, but she’s really not ^^ And on the bus station, we fund this:

What's your destionation? xD

What's your destionation? xD

And I’ve even been brave enough to do something on my own! :O
How on earth I managed to do that, I do not know.
I’ve never been so nervous my whole life!!
I hate having these anxieties. You know, going somewhere on my own.
Not having people I can child-like ask if they can ask for things for me.
Which again means that I do NOT ask for things, I just seemingly mindlessly wander around until I find what I want.
Time taking, but indeed much better than having to talk xD
You know what? I should stop being called L A and rather go for Issues-Girl xD
I’m not joking, I’m damaged goods, we all know it, we all pretend it’s not there, but I’m too darn stupid and egocentric to be able to stop it from leaking out. Oh well.

The other day O C complained about my tone.
It made me a little sad, because I though she wound understand me well enough by now, to know that whatever ‘tone’ I had, it was just me asking her about something. I never mean for there to be a tone in my voice.
And, for instance… When I’m wrong about something, people say I look disgusted, arrogant, know-it-all and angry, but really I just feel confused. Specially if it’s something I was really sure I knew.
I guess it’s the same with my voice. I sound different than how I feel.
Almost like mum, then. She usually sounds a bit angry when she’s happy 🙂 Rather confusing, but you know.
As soon as you get to know a person, you learn to read their emotions in every way, not just what it looks or seems like.
I think big sis has learned that much about me about now. She’s probably still ticked sometimes, but I think she know what I really mean.

3 DAYS! There’s only 3 day’s until I leave England for the holidays! :O
And on Thursday I’ll meet Keeler! Yay! Finally! ^^

To end this all, music:

Lately, I’ve been listening a lot to Massive Attack. Why I haven’t done so before now is beyond me.
Fav’s:

And for the title, my favourite Christmas song:

(And just ignore the video xD)

Have a happy holiday!
Merry Christmas to you all!
– L A ❤

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So, finally! I am here. I am at my university.
And I’m having a hell of a time! 😀
My college is among the best(if not THE best), and my flatmates are amazing!

And I actually like my room. o_O
Probably because it’s so close to the European standard I’m used to, which is great.
I can’t help it, but even though I love the british houses and all, the interior is usually… a set-back. For me.
So, anyway, things are going great! I mean, LOOK:

My room ♥

My room ♥

The picture is of course after being here for 30 minutes after unpacking, so it’s not exactly the way my room looks like now, but still.

I live on the top floor of one of the Grizedale College houses, and there are two flats at each floor.
My overall impression is that not too many people around at the colleges know everyone or get along with everyone at their flat, but because of our amazing freshers reps, Dubar and Connor (not sure how either name is written though), both my flat and the one next to us are getting along abso-friggin’-lutely awesomely well!

I actually got to England last thursday, but me and four other Norwegians stayed in Manchester for a few days.
Our thursday evening was wicked! After walking around for hours through the whole day, part of it with seriously heavy luggage, we went out clubbing in the evening. Of course, we were all nice and tipsy when we left our (friggin genius) apartment, which I sadly enough don’t have any pictures of, and wounded up at 5th Avenue, and we had the time of our lives. There were a lot of alcohol in the picture, and a heck of a lot more dancing! The music was great as well 🙂
Friday was spent mainly at the apartment, for the pure joy of recovery. Oh, and did I mention we brought a guy home with us? Yeah, we let some guy called Michael or something crash on one of our couches. We never introduced ourselves to him, and we hadn’t known him for more than 20 minutes before we left the club, but still. There were a whole lot of drama going on, so we brough him home. Friday was a relaxing day, and saturday was a bit more stressful. My vicious friend O C woke me up with the words “IT’S 20 MINUTES TIL WE’RE LEAVING, GET UP!” knowing fully well that I had not packed any of my stuff, and that there were still and hour and 20 minutes left til we had to leave. Stupid bitch♥

@ 5th Avenue ♥

@ 5th Avenue ♥

The arrival at Lancaster went pretty easy, my taxi driver was kind enough to take almost all of my luggage to the reception thingy for my college, and when I got there, two guys were assigned to take all my luggage to my room and show me where I live. Poor bastards, carrying about 4-5 stones of luggage? Hahaha! Sorry mates! But it worked out smoothly and I got settled within an hour. I stumbled upon a few people in the hallway, and got all the information I needed. In the afternoon my flatmates and I went over to the other flat, and spent a lot of time getting to know each other, before going to some meeting at another place. After that, we got back, and basically started drinking ^^

I’m not going to go on and on about the evening (mainly because I can’t remember all of it), but we had so much fun!
So much fun actually, that I wounded up waking up on my bathroom floor in the middle of the night 😀
Stupid Norwegian alcohol habits.

The really spacious bathroom

The really spacious bathroom

It’s crowded with one person, for Christs sake!
I got some sleep, but not too much… woke up at 5:30 AM, and when my flatmate got out at 6:30, I got up and went to the kitchen with her. Had a slow, nice day, with little to do. O C and I decided to have dinner together, but when we got to the store, we weren’t really sure what we wanted: something light and microwave-ably, or something a bit more… filling. So, while standing there, contemplating loudly in Norwegian some one behind us goes “You’re from Norway?!!” in Norwegian. Now, this bit here is where we did something weird. We turned around and replied that “Yes, we are”, but we didn’t stop at that. We continued on with “want to have dinner with us?”. Come on, who replies “Yes we are, want to have dinner with us?” when asked if we are from Norway? But the girl, Karina, said she’d love to, so we bought some minced meat, pasta and Dolmio Bolognese original, and went back to my college to eat. Now, see… this is where we did the second weird thing:
inviting someone to dinner isn’t half as weird as inviting them to dinner, buying groceries, and NOT having pots and pans, plates and glass, forks or knives, or anything to prepare, make and eat the dinner WITH. Thankfully, my flatmates are alright people, so we got to borrow pots and pans from David, knives and forks from Matthew, glasses, plates and spice from Kat, and even some sort of spatula-like-thingy(I have no idea what it’s actually called in English) from Nikki. Oh, and yeah, since Nikki is chinese, she hadn’t really been socializing much with us, seeing as she is very unsure of her English(which she has no need to -___-), but when I brought O C over, they could speak in Chinese together, and so she got to talk to us. She’s really nice! 😀 And she joined us for dinner =^__^= Wish I had pictures of it, but the whole thing was absurdly, comfortably nice. I really enjoyed having dinner with them!

Yeah, well… I guess this is about it for now.
I hope things continue like this for at least a while more.
I’m still dead scared that I’m going to wound up alone like before.
I’m constantly worried they’ll bring up a subject where they don’t like my opinion or answer, and they’ll avoid me from then on. I mean, I can’t even start to stress how much I appreciate these people, or how much I want them to be, and stay, my friends. I have so high hopes, I’m wishing so strongly we’ll continue like this. But I know that no matter how we develop, and how things change between us later on, I’ve been extremely lucky to get to know them, and truly blessed with the company for at least the time being. I’m scared shitless they’ll think poorly of me and stop talking to me. And my stupid, insecure self is so sure it’ll happen. I just need to watch what I say. I hope I haven’t said anything that’s a bit… too much… just yet. I can’t help it, but I’m obviously a poor friend in the long run. I’m too much for a lot of people, I get that. I suppose I just don’t really know where to stop. I’m being me, no doubt of that, but I should start easing down on it. I guess I just want people to like me so much, I need to talk about all the sides of me(all the time, apparently), to show them that I’ve got so many sides of me, and that even though they don’t like *this or that*, there are other things they might or could appreciate. Oh well, enough emo-sappy-desperat-anxious rambling. I am all fine and well, and the others seem really cool.

I wish things that are good could stay forever♥
– L A =^__^=