Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

The other day I updated my Facebook status to this:

“IF ANYBODY KNOWS SOMEONE RICH WHO WOULD LIKE TO GET MARRIED FAST, LET ME KNOW!
I just calculated how much money I will owe after my Bachelor degree…”

And yes, ha-ha, very funny, I know…
But it did get me thinking! What if someone rich actually DID approach me?
I keep imagining the following conversation to unfold:
“Yes, hello, I’m rather rich, and I would consider marrying you…”
“Great then, as long as you agree to pay for my tuition – up to a full PhD, it’s done! :D”
“Well, I’d agree to that, but what could you offer me?”
…Obviously, I can’t expect a random rich person to marry me and pay up without getting anything in return. But what would I offer? Sexual services are not an option, simply because I’m neither experienced not attractive enough for a future husband/wife to benefit of our marriage solely based on that, especially since I’m not open to the all-too-weird stuff.
“Well, you’ve obviously got the talent and the money, and I’ve got the ehm… The education. Yes?”
…Nope, wouldn’t work.
“Extensive knowledge of serial killers and various methods of torture?”
…But now that we think about it, that’s not really qualities you look for in a future wife now, is it?
“I’m like, REALLY good at texting! Yeah?”
…Wouldn’t cut it.
“I can make you some origami decorations?”
…Aaaah, tempting! But alas, NO. -___-
“I wouldn’t be in your way?”
…Neither would a mail order bride!  Besides, I’d say getting my education funded would be ‘being in the way’, economically speaking.
“I’d tweet nice things about you and let everyone I know on Facebook know how much I love you?”
…Really? I couldn’t just… _Pay_ someone to do that?
“I’d give you more children than you can count, and guarantee you an… heir?”
…Is this really the qualities it comes down to? An heir? When is this, the 17th century??

Though I DO realise I basically just said that I WOULD whore myself out for a financially secured education, but that I lack the qualities of a common prostitute 😛 Either way, my point is that I don’t have much to bring into a relationship but myself, and though that in many ways may be a lot, that is still not all there is to a relationship.

But further more, I not only need this hypothetical persons money for my education! I also need it for a flat with a proper boiler and FUCKING HOT WATER! I mean, are you kidding me? My showering routine now consists of boiling a full kettle of water three times, pouring the boiling water into a bucket, before adding enough cold water to fill the bucket, then place it in the bathtub together with a smaller bowl and my shampoo, conditioner and body wash. When this is done, I have to lower myself into the (COLD) bathtub, and use the smaller bowl to pour the luke warm water over my head/body. Yeah, wow! Very medieval.
Why? Because not only did someone in the building turn off and on the water in the building without telling us, so that air would gather in our pipes and create an immense pressure resulting in no hot water coming out of the boiler, and a massive leak in our cupboard, which lead to water getting into our washing machine and short circuiting the whole flat for a few days, but when they fixed the leak, our hot water would not return! GAH! We’ve had people running in and out of our flat for days on end now, to get everything fixed, but it’s yet to be resolved completely. We’ve got electricity and a washing machine again though, so we’re happy about that 🙂

 

And it’s not all doom and gloom, Friday is coming up, and do we know what’ll happen then? 😀
INA WILL BE HERE! She’s visiting from Friday to Wednesday, and I’m really looking forward to it 😀
It’ll be so much fun =^___^=

To make up for the serious lack of posts in quite some time, I’ll present you with this.
But first, a short update:

I lost a friend on February 27th. RIP Joachim Pedersen Ommundsen †
I lost another friend on April 5th. RIP Steffen Strømsbråten †
I went to Norway over the Easter holidays, and I even had some fun.
While in Norway, me and my friend Jeanette, hosted a great party, with about 40 people present. *likes this*

Now, for the real post:

And to finish it all off, two new songs for ya!

Do you sometimes miss your childhood? I sure as hell does. So here’s to that!

Make sure you hit play before you scroll down any further!

And if you want a double treat:

And just to finish this whole thing off


(Take notice of his footwork… OMG! O_O)

So, the past week has been somewhat stressful, and the coming 5-7 days will not be any better on me, I can assure you.

I have been busy trying to find a place for me and Charlotte to live for the next year, but I’m not really sure I can find one. Great. We NEED a place to live, or else we’re severely screwed. But we’ll figure something out eventually. I hope.

Other than that, I have essays. Essays, essays, essays… Holy crap, those essays!
Now, I must admit, my procrastination habits have ruined my chances of really good grades quite a bit, seeing as I have spent a lot of my time catching up on “Glee”, watched two seasons of  “Chuck” and am currently watching “Wall-E” and “Potion Master’s Corner”. Simultaneously. Sort of. And I am also headed for the kitchen in a minute or so, to make myself some… *drumroll*… BREAKFAST! 😀 Hahaha! I have been awake for the most of the day, I just haven’t gotten around to the ‘eating’ part yet xD

Oh, more procrastinating news: www.fuckyeahvoldemort.wordpress.com! I have spent a few nights in a row, giving in to my OCD and gone through ALL of her enjoyable posts. Problem is: there’s a lot of them. Dear God, there is a LOT of them! But I’ve been through them all, so ta-fucking-da! My OCD wins. Anyway, when I say her posts are enjoyable, I really mean it though – you should head over and check them out! ^^ (Opens in a new tab/window.)

Now, there has been some fun, recent additions at this university. A Harry Potter society has been established! OMG!
And guess what? I’M IN IT! We had out first meeting this Wednesday, when we had our Sorting Ceremony, which was quite fun. I showed up wearing my Gryffindor sweater and tie, and my amazing Time Turner necklace ^^ Which I sould have spared my self, as I got sorted in to Slytherin… But I’m not complaining, as I am quite prepared for that as well. I DO have Draco Malfoy’s wand after all *smirks* So as soon as they get it in stock, I suppose I should have to order myself the Slytherin sweater and tie, but again… Very happy to do so. I had planned on buying both sets anyway. Now I’m only contemplating buying the robes as well… 🙂 Anyway, I was severely sleep deprived that day, so I couldn’t really stay for too long, I had accidentally ended up pulling an all-nighter. Stupid interwebz and the fabulously interesting secrets it holds! ❤

I suppose this will be the shortest update in a while, as I have to focus on my essays now.
But I should mention that I will probably start using a few pictures from Fuck Yeah Voldemort in the future, just so you’re aware. I’ll just make her a tag whenever there is credit to be given =^___^=

Have a lovely weekend, precious little people.
And I’ll see you some time in the future.
– L A ❤

The barman says: “We don’t serve time travellers here…”
A time traveller walks in to a bar.

So, it’s been a long time since I last spoke to you guys, hasn’t it?
Well, I have my reasons. Las time, I mentioned that I’ve entered NaNoWriMo, so here’s a teaser of my story.

Helium Mind:

The story of a girl trapped inside her sisters body.
Unable to reach out for anyone, she is forced to live her life seeing,
hearing and feeling what her sister sees, hears and feels. Only one slight problem:
They live at Longfords “hidden corridor”, England’s most famous asylum.

The story as I have begun to form it, will be something like “Alice in Wonderland” meets “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” meets “Inception”. And I’m planning on bringing in a bit of Japanese culture, and maybe some hints of Murakami Ryu’s thrillers? 😀

I hope it goes well, but I’m afraid I won’t reach the 50.000 words within the month of November. This will not mean I’m planning on abruptly ending the story, if I actually like what I end up with, I’ll probably try to continue it ^^
Thing is: I’ve got all my course work now, and I realised I’ll be quite busy this month.

Now, what else is new?
Oh yeah, I’ve come out to my family! And I chose quite the modern approach. I updated my Facebook profile to say “likes men and women” xD Haha! So far, no one has commented, but seriously… I still count it as coming out. So that’ll be a milestone: Tuesday 9th of November!
What changed my mind to do this, you ask? Well, I’ve joined the University’s LGBTQ society (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transsexual Queer), and I’ve been well accepted here. And my friends don’t mind it, not even my new friends! (Well, as it turns out, quite a few of them are queer themselves xP) And I’ve made good friends within the society, and I just didn’t see the point in keeping it “hidden”. Besides, I live far away from home now, so they won’t be bothered by my sexuality even if I find myself a girl I fancy. Oh, and even one of the Norwegian girls is lesbian, and here and I have sort of connected and bonded over this common thing. We even went together to the Canal Street Trip with the LGBTQ Society! Canal Street is the main street of the “Gay Village” of Manchester. And we had HEAPS of fun!

Funz<3

Funz<3

Awsumz! :D

Awsumz! 😀

OMG Roofz! :O

OMG Roofz! :O

Seriously loved that ceiling! ❤

What else can I mention?

Oh yeah, there was a huge ruckus in town the day Adel and I went shopping!

Whoa!

Whoa!

All the people you see in this picture… They’re either in a line in or out of the bookstore.
Why? Katie Price =____=
Seriously…. seriously?! Come one?
1) Why would all these people want to see that woman? (Not to mention that most of them were women, and there was NO limits as to age. 10-100, not kidding!)
2) What the hell could Jordan write a book about? (Specially something THAT interesting..?)
3) Why the FUCK would she chose to come to Lancaster??? Off all the godforsaken places on earth, she wanted to come here… WTF? o_O

But, I suppose it was a good thing for me, though. As her apparance seemed to keep people out of the stores I wanted to go to, and I ended up finding an amazing outfit for the Canal Street Trip! :O

Heartz

Heartz

Thing is: it’s a dress. So that would mean me… in a dress…
O_O But…

Oh well, it went fine. I actually got a whole lot of compliments, which was nice.
I still have a love/hate relationship with it. I mean: there is SO MUCH DRESS! When sitting down, I had to pull the whole thing up and rest it in my lap. ONE COULD SEE NO LAP! :O Yet, it’s übercute and it’s from Hell Bunny<3

Hmmm… What else should I mention?

Did I say mum sent me a parcel? If not, SHE DID!
I don’t have too many pictures of what it contained, but here’s the parcel itself!

I <3z mum

I <3z mum

And some of the things I got was:

Bed sheets, covers and pillowcases
FREIA MELKESJOKOLADE (Norwegian chocolate)
Utensils
My pencil cases
My “Nightmare On Elm Street” box set ❤
Stationary
Oh, and these awesome boxes to store things in:

HELLO KITTY! <3

HELLO KITTY! ❤

They were sort of… folded. So I had to… unfold… them. Well, anyways, it didn’t take long, and they’re completely AWESOME! 😀 Mum’s cool.

But she did something a bit… uncool.
You know those advents calendars for kids? Usually you get those chocolate ones, right?
Well, mum gives me small presents for each day instead. Which is nice, except… SHE SENT THEM I OCTOBER!
Come on? How the hell am I supposed to wait one month and a week before I open my SEVENTEEN AWESOME PRESENTS?? :O The minute I spotted them, I had to force myself to hastily put them all in a bag, run into the hallway and ask the first person I could see it they could keep them. Which was David. And he could. And now I find myself constantly wanting to be nice to him! Hahaha ^^ Seriously, whenever I see him, my head goes “PRESENTS! Ask if he wants chocolate!” xD

Now, I don’t have much else to say, I think. So I’ll end with a badly taken picture of Adel, where she portrays her feelings for the people who waited in line to have their book signed by Katie “Jordan” Price:

*faints of frustration*

*faints of frustration*

She cries *sob*

Haha! Alright, see you all later, then!
Love and respect,

– L A ❤

Okay, so I’ll admit it.
I am a bit of a geek.
…and I love school.
Seriously, the lectures and seminars I’ve been through so far this week is highly intriguing, and I am baffled by the overwhelming “OMFG.I.LUFF.DIS!” feeling I get every time! I am so glad I came her, and I’m extremely excited about what this year will bring me. Can hardly wait until lecture 25 in Criminology, though. We’ll be going over Serial Killing that day ❤

I’ve met great people in my classes, and both my Norwegian friends and my flatmates are still amazing.
Btw, I promised you photos in the last post, so here they are:

This is Adel enjoying her chinese food ^^

This is Adel enjoying her chinese food ^^

Every time I see Adel, I get the crazy urge to call her Jane. It’s not very visible in this photo, but she looks so much like Jane from the Disney movie “Tarzan”!
(Oh, and if I get her permission, I’ll try and post some of her digital paintings. They’re amazing!)

The lovely O C doing her genes justice ;)

The lovely O C doing her genes justice 😉

I’ll be having dinner at her flat today 🙂 Lovely lady ^^

And last, but not least, Pia! Who is not too happy with being photographed :P

And last, but not least, Pia! Who is not too happy with being photographed 😛

Specially since she is eating while I suddenly snap a picture. She’ll surely hate me for this xP

Oh, oh, oh!
I even got hold of a picture of me cutting Simons hair!
Wanna see?
Alright, have a look then:

Cutting hair in the kitchen :)

Cutting hair in the kitchen 🙂

Not entirely sure what is going on with me here, for that is ONE AWKWARD POSE!
But anyways, I cut his hair. And now you know how Simon looks like. ENJOY! 😛

I don’t think there is much else to mention.
I’m slowly recovering from fever and coughingfits.
…and the rest of my school is occupied with fighting off freshers flu. Hah! *smirks*

Well then, if not before, I’ll be seeing you within a week!
Love ya!
– L A ❤

I am contemplating becoming a vlogger, something I believe I have previously mentioned.
I DO think it is fun to record different scenes and editing really isn’t too bad. Except from, you know… the cost of the software :p I downloaded a trial of Corel VideoStudio Pro X3, and it made me realize two things:
1) there is no way I can settle for anything LESS than Adobe Premier Pro (C3/C4)
and
2) making shorts with the only purpose of posting them on Youtube is sort of fun 🙂

Anyone remembering me mentioning this from earlier? xD

Oh well. Now, I’ve been offered conditional offers at 4 out of 5 schools, and the last one has yet to reply.

Lancaster
–  Sounds like a really nice school, but they’re bad at giving out information. My grades are good enough to be accepted at this school, but it’s sort of… pricy. I have yet to search out all the information the internet can provide me with, so I’m still not sure whether this will be a “yes I think so” or “nah, not so sure” school.
Essex
–  Really excellent when it comes to the information bit; both in the mail, and on the internet. The only hindrance in my understanding of their offer, school and various other information, is my own lack of knowledge and understanding of terminology. I should probably have done some more research before applying. xP Campus looks great, school seems awesome, love their courses and offers, the way they genuinely strive for making things the most convenient for the students and it’s not too expensive. I did some basic math, and it seems I could actually afford going here, without loaning too much from the bank. But we’ll see.
York
–  The first school to receive my application, reply to it, give me information and accepting me. But the information they’ve been giving me is only half-hearted. Is almost as if they’re trying to say “Yeah, we’ve got room for you and all, and we’d REALLY like you over here, since you’d be studying abroad. But just don’t get your hopes up. You won’t be fully accepted here.” Driving me bitching crazy! …because I’m actually a tad bit curious about this Uni, and the area it’s located in. Yet, it really doesn’t matter; I am quite certain my grades are not good enough.
Swansea
–  Now, this was initially going to be my first choise, since two of my friends from the school I’ve been attending for the last three years have been accepted there. And this is also why I ran in to my mothers room at 3 in the morning +1 GMT, jumping up and down on her bed singing “I might have a chance there, I might have a chance there!”. Of course, this is a good school, so they would really like to see good grades. I am sorry to inform you that I simply cannot do that. Unless they want to see my friends results. Honestly, I feel a bit disappointed though. I think it might be a bit easier for me to have someone I already know somewhere around me, but not having to be with them ALL. THE. TIME. I am really anxious about the whole “moving-to-the-UK-and-go-study-with-new-people”-thing, and I am deadly afraid of once again becoming the outcast I have been over here. Knowing SOMEBODY, even if they don’t like me so well, would calm me a little. The ones I know who has been accepted there doesn’t seem to _hate_ me, and conversations with them is easy. You know, common grounds and all that. Which would be strengthened in the UK. But shit happens, and I’ll always manage to go by with 2-4 more years of being the one people never recognize as another fellow human being. =^___^=
…and no. The information they have provided me is not really enough for me to even want to apply to their school. xD

The last school I applied to, was Stirling. They were the second school to receive my application, and yet: no reply. Probably not a good sign, eh? xD Oh well. Now, I have ALWAYS been fascinated by Scotland, and my interest in this school is fairly high. (AND, I do believe the famous David Tennant look-a-like vlogger Liam Dryden a.k.á. Littleradge is from around the area. Or study there. Or HAVE studied there.) At any rate, this school is supposed to be good, and they started off with light, necessary information. But unfortunately, it all stopped here. We’ll just have to see what the Internet can tell, me, then! 😀

And thank you so much to Mari from AtP for all her help!

And thank you so much to Mari from AtP for all her help!

Oh, and someone just made my day.
I received a text from an old friend, explaining that he only tried to get a hold of me last night so that he could tell me he’s soon going to be single again. This sort of gave me the distinctive feeling that this certain someone has missed me a bit xD haha ^^

Oh well, I explained to him that he is late with this information. I’ll soon be moving anyway. (And I don’t need old baggage in my closet.)
…maybe I should tell him that since the last time we met, I’ve gotten fat, blonde(!!) and developed an interest in social outcast that kill? xD Hahaha, oh, am I not hilarious? *dies* xD

Music:
Try out both Ke$has album “Animal” and 3OH!3s album “Streets of Gold”.
Actually lot’s of good summertunes there. 😀